q u e e r l y * w r i t t e n

(last post) i’ll write whatever i want, whenever i want… until i want to quit. and i’m not ready to quit yet, so, you’re stuck with me a while longer.

i’v been at this point before, but i really think this may be the end of this blog. i’ve said this before, and returned, so who knows, but as of right now… it’s goodbye.

too much is going on in my life that i need to figure out. too many emotions need to be contained. too many things need to be forgiven and forgotten, and this blog has always been a way to hang on to things i need to let go off.

i can’t change anyone.

i can’t control anyone.

i can only deal with the facts, make the desicions that i feel will make me happiest and then move on with my life.

if i keep this blog, all prior posts will remain. i may post pictures from time to time, who knows. but i think for now, at least, my private life will be exactly that- private.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

… for lusting after a preacher man! but i can’t help it if his cute, boyish face, sexy hairy legs and nice plump ass excite me! da-ummmm, but that boy is hot!!! it just makes my day when he come in…

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the bf and i went to la caretta’s for lunch. we both had a pina coloda margarita. still waiting to get busted, cuz i’m sure someone saw me there with it! oh, well… i’ll just say it was virgin if anybody asks. as the waiter said- it was as virgin as i am!

Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no air

If I should die before I wake
It’s ’cause you took my breath away
Losing you is like living in a world with no air

I’m here alone, didn’t wanna leave
My heart won’t move, it’s incomplete
If there was a way that I can make you understand

But how do you expect me
to live alone with just me
‘Cause my world revolves around you
It’s so hard for me to breathe

Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no air
Can’t live, can’t breathe with no air
It’s how I feel whenever you ain’t there
It’s no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gon’ be without me
If you ain’t here, I just can’t breathe
It’s no air, no air

I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew
Right off the ground to float to you
There’s no gravity to hold me down for real

But somehow I’m still alive inside
You took my breath, but I survived
I don’t know how, but I don’t even care

Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe with no air
Can’t live, can’t breathe with no air
It’s how I feel whenever you ain’t there
It’s no air, no air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gon’ be without me
If you ain’t here, I just can’t breathe
It’s no air, no air

No air, air
No air, air

**********

i get tears in my eyes every time i hear this song. if i ever had to live without him, this is exactly how i’d feel. no air.

i hope i don’t ever have to.

the bf and i drove up to shreveport saturday for the miss gay shreveport america pageant, held at central station. we weren’t in a hurry to get there, so on the way up we stopped in alexandria for lunch, then i drove up to tioga, where i attended youth camps and campmeetings for many years! it was a very strange feeling driving onto the grounds again for the first time in over ten years.

stopped off in natchitoches, cuz there is no way i’m passing through without getting a meat pie and a crawfish pie!

got into shreveport about 4, got our room, went for dinner, then got dressed to go to the pageant. it was lots of fun! there were 5 contestants, and i took pictures for the miss gay louisiana website. left the bar about 3 and went to waffle house. got in bed about 4, but was up and on the road by 10:30 sunday morning.

again, we took our time going home. stopped off in alexandria and drove out to buhlow lake next to the red river in pineville. (sorry, tommy, for not calling! doug even said i should. next time, i promise we will!) spent a couple of hours there.

stopped in lafayette to see frazier (anastacia davenport). she went with us to dinner so we could visit some more.

finally got home about 9:00 sunday night. and that’s why i’ve been so tired that i’ve just now blogged about it.

(click to enlarge)

buhlow lake in pinville, outside of alexandria

red river

got in bed about 2 this morning… went to the quarter last night to the profiles show at the pub. the fabulous kofi was in from texas, along with jasmine xs, tiffany and raquel. it was a really fun show. didn’t drink as much as the last time, but still had a great time. went down to rawhide for a couple of hours after the show, so, i am not feeling pretty this morning!

**********

didn’t do much of anything else this w/e. dropped the son off in mandeville saturday for band practice, and the bf and i cleaned horse stalls. that’s about it.

we went to the southeastern baseball game friday night, but it was rained out in the bottom of the 2nd inning. didn’t go back for the game on saturday.

oh, and the lsu lady tigers lost in the final four (yet again) to tennesse last night. five straight trips to the final four without a win is getting rather boring. sorta like the ryan perrilloux story in football.

oh, well, welcome to monday!

(all images can be found in gallery)